Daniel P Warner

Self-Doubt

Ever ask yourself “What in the blazes made me think I could do this?”

You might be suffering from Imposter Syndrome. All excited about a new hobby, job, or business venture, you dashed right into the froth of the ocean. But now you’re floundering, trying to figure out how to keep your head above water while the rip current is tugging you out to sea.

Relax and breathe. Surviving unexpected challenges might be harder than anticipated. But you can do this.

Battling Imposter Syndrome

Often these feelings that we don’t belong or we just aren’t qualified to accomplish something aren’t based in reality, or are only partially true. You know how to float and swim, but sometimes the current strains to drag you under. You’ve read that you’re not supposed to fight against the rip current. Just don’t panic.

But we’re all human. We believe the lies we tell ourselves. Even when there’s some truth to what we are telling ourselves, it doesn’t mean we can’t find success. Here are three E’s to overcoming the debilitating self-doubt of Imposter Syndrome.

Education

This may seem an obvious step, but how often do we mope about our inadequacies rather than do something about it? There’s so many resources available online now, some free and some for a price. And another hint – don’t be afraid to ask for help on your educational journey.

Feel like a failure as a parent? Find some parenting books. Talk to successful parents about how they do it. They’ll be honored that you asked.

Assigned a task that requires a bright new technology that you don’t want to admit you don’t know? Take the initiative to find an online course on the topic. Your employer might even pay for it if you ask properly. Tell your boss you want to make sure you’re up to date on the latest developments with the tool. He/she will likely appreciate your drive to succeed.

Writers – don’t know how to craft your book proposal? When I attended my first writers conference, I didn’t even know I needed such a thing. I was all set to pitch my book to an agent, but had to confess that I didn’t know much about book proposals. She offered to provide feedback if I sent her one. I scrambled to find an inexpensive on-line course with a template. Within two weeks after the conference, I sent it to her. She returned it full of red markups, but went above and beyond to give me feedback, including suggestions on improving the first pages of my novel. It was intimidating to admit to her what I didn’t know, but now, while not an expert on book proposals, I no longer feel like an imposter.

Granted, you may have to make time to educate yourself. But wouldn’t giving up some free time be worth it for the boost in confidence?

Experience

There’s no substitute for trying. We all fail, but failure makes us smarter and stronger. And when we try and succeed, our confidence grows. It’s only when we sit on the sidelines that we become stagnant.

The typical writer’s journey can take years. And I’m talking 5 to 10 years, or more in some cases. I look back at my early attempts at writing and shudder. How much I’ve learned by writing and writing and writing and getting feedback, much of it negative, and learning from that feedback. My favorite author, Louis L’Amour, was rejected over 200 times before Bantam took a chance on him. The Chicken Soup For the Soul series was rejected 140 times with feedback like “Anthologies don’t sell.” 150 million sales later, it’s still going strong. I’m sure L’Amour’s early letters to publishers were not very good compared to the one that succeeded.

Most of us have heard about Abraham Lincoln’s many failures in politics before he finally experienced success. But when he finally broke through, do you think he was just lucky? Was he just in the wrong place at the wrong time for all those failed attempts? I doubt it. The failures molded him into the leader that he became. He never would have succeeded without all those negative experiences first.

Yes, the first time you get swept out to sea you might need a lifeguard to save you. But the next time the current tries to swallow you, you’ll be better equipped. After every lesson learned, you’ll feel less like an imposter.

Encouragement/Community

You’re not alone. Tons of people have the same doubts you do. Seek those people out. Humbly offer your advice to them. The give and take will make all of you feel more worthy.

If you’re dealing with something big, find a support group. Don’t battle it alone. My uncle served on a PT Boat in WWII, and suffered for 70 years with PTSD before finally seeking help. The encouragement he received from other veterans of all ages who faced similar challenges made a huge difference. I never really knew him until the final years of his life when he re-integrated with his family.

For writers, critique groups or partnerships are a must. Not only do you learn from each other, but you also receive that encouragement when someone tells you what they enjoyed reading.

If a bunch of you are caught in a rip current together, you can encourage each other. “Hey, worst case, we all get to die together!” Okay, so perhaps the analogy breaks down here…

Conclusion

Like The Greatest American Hero, we may have a super-power suit that we aren’t sure how to wear, but let’s put it on anyway and try our best to save the world, eh?

Okay, time to see if I can find a master-class on life-guarding so I can save all you weak swimmers 😎. Or maybe not. Anyway, I face imposter syndrome almost every time I sit down to write. It will plague us all until the end. But let’s persevere.