This Can’t be Real
Guys, some horrible news. Colin passed away. He had a heart attack last Monday. He was not treated until last Wednesday. He was released to fly home Monday. He died in flight.
I stared at the message on the group chat. He died in flight. It didn’t even make sense. How could this be? I first read the text this morning. It started to sink in at lunch, talking to a group of other friends of his. Tonight, it’s hitting me. I lost a friend this week.
Colin wasn’t one of my inner circle of friends. We didn’t chat regularly or keep up via email after I retired. But man, was he likeable! He was a friend to everyone. He’d do anything for anyone. Work the tasks that nobody else wanted. Ask how you’re doing and actually be interested in the answer. And he’d do it all with a smile.
I can’t remember ever seeing Colin without a smile on his face.
Not Fair
This doesn’t seem fair. Why would this happen to someone like Colin? He’s younger than me, has a wife and son who need him, and…
Why, God?
As a believer in God, I’ve pondered and studied the question of suffering and evil in the world. It is the most difficult question for Christians to grapple with, in my opinion. I could debate the issue with a ton of logic and analysis.
But we should be careful with logic and trite statements. For someone experiencing loss, what we mean as comfort can easily come across cold. Or worse—judgmental. Telling someone they just need to trust God’s sovereignty is not compassionate while they are going through trauma. Therefore, I hope the sections below are not too clinical in nature. But these are two truths I’ve landed on that have helped me:
The worst things have happened to the best person
Jesus understands our suffering. He lost his earthly father, Joseph. He wept over the sting of death at Lazarus’s grave. He lost a man who was probably his best friend, when his cousin, John the Baptist, had his head cut off by King Herod. And Jesus himself suffered and died a gruesome death. He gets us.
We are finite beings, transitioning to an infinite future
Imagine you turned on the faucet and captured a cup of water. Then you sucked up a tiny amount into a dropper and sealed it in a plastic bag. You took an Uber to the marina, got on a boat, and motored miles out into the ocean, far enough away that you couldn’t see land. Then you got out that dropper, leaned over the edge, and carefully squeezed a single drop into the sea.
How much of a difference would that make? What if you dropped 10 more drops? That’s 10 times as much! Mathematically speaking, there actually is an impact, because the ocean contains a finite amount of water.
As finite beings, how do our lives compare to that first drop of water? Surprisingly, when you consider the infinite nature of eternity, our lives are completely insignificant in comparison. Mathematically speaking, it doesn’t matter if we live 100 years or 999 years when compared to eternity. If our lives are right with God, our suffering, loss, pain… are all temporary. So yes, it doesn’t feel fair when we are going through these things. It feels massive. But God has indescribable joys awaiting us.
He is preparing us for an infinite future. I find beauty and comfort in that thought when I wonder, why, God?
Life is Fleeting
Time. We always think we have plenty of it. Someday I’ll take that trip. Someday, I’ll do this or that. Someday, I’ll start reading the Bible and consider this God thing. Someday, I’ll witness to that unbeliever.
But what if someday never comes on this earth? I know Colin was a great guy, and I’ll miss him. But I don’t know what he believed. I regret not being a better friend.
Have you ever lost someone suddenly? Have you spent much time considering the fragility of our finite lives on earth? If you’d like to speak with me about any of these topics, in complete anonymity, please reach out.